dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I had to cum in my sink.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
