Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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