so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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