I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
