Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
