Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
