i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
