I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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