I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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