Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You made out with two different species that night
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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