Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
