no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
