Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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