just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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