Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think I am morally bankrupt
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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