why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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