There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
