gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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