is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
