I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
