I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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