I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
