if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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