Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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