i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize