u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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