Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
