Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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