I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
