im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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