ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
