i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
