So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
please come you make the beer taste better
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
