know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
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Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
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CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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