dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
