think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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