I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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