i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Can you bring me the toilet please
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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