I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
