Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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