i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
