I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
