When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
