i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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