I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Everyone says I win the strip club
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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