I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
