i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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