can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize