Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
