and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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