Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
