I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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