my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
