I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
