it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
