porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
