I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
