Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
