so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
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I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
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An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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